March 2023

...and honoring the rhythms of March + the helpers among us

Hi friend,

It’s spring break in Waco, and the trees are all coming alive with new buds and flowers that my soul is just delighting in. (My allergies, on the other hand, are not delighting in the layers of pollen.) The bluebonnets are reminding us of their presence, the budding trees look neon green with new life, and the flowering trees make me smile like a kid every time we pass them.

After a very full and bumpy start to 2023, my whole being is so grateful for this spring break as our family’s prioritizing deep rest, a whole lot of play time together, and some inner/outer organizing. In fact, after reading a few books on decluttering over the holiday break and realizing how the clutter has been affecting me, addressing my office clutter is my one big project for the break.

And…

My body is remembering that 3 years ago, at the start of spring break, we were on the cusp of a global pandemic that is still affecting us today, even if CDC restrictions have lifted. My body associates this week’s change in weather and schedule with desperate efforts to leave the house, but to not go indoors; to get groceries and then wipe them down with disinfecting wipes; to wear masks everywhere we went for the first time in our lives; to live into a level of anxiety that my already existing tendencies toward anxiety has never experienced; to be forced into the unknown on a global scale and collectively stripped of any illusion of control…

At the same time, my body remembers how much more we fell in love with our backyard, lots of chalk art in our driveway (including our kids writing “hi neighbors, I hope you are having a great time at home. I miss you” and “we are in this together” and for neighbors), kids yoga videos, gardening, walking, biking in the kids’ school parking lot, and a whole lot of deep conversations about emotions alongside replaying Inside Out over and over. We facetimed with friends and family, we checked in on one another, and we realized how important a massive pause was for our society.

There’s been a stop-and-go healing for me through the last three years since COVID hit — perhaps the same is true for you, too. Moments when I’m mindful that my muscles are no longer wrung-out with anxiety every moment of every day over a loved one possibly getting COVID (thank you, vaccines/boosters + healthcare providers + researchers). Moments when I’m grateful to not be carrying anxiety about getting COVID in my therapists’ office alongside all the other things I’m carrying and trying to unpack with him in our sessions together. Moments when I’m worried about my colleagues and students and their well-being (and job security) as higher education went through major transitions to keep classes and research going. Moments when I’m relieved to not be trying to work from home alongside our young kids trying to do school on iPads, knowing everyone is doing their best and whew, it was a lot. We navigated so much together, and many layers of what we experienced is still threaded within our minds, bodies, hearts, and souls.

And if you’re reading this, you likely identify as a helper in some way — whether a parent, partner, teacher, health or mental health care provider, volunteer, faith leader, public servant, caregiver, administrator, researcher, advocate, etc.

To the helpers — thank you for all you have done to support so many of us over the last few years through the healing we’ve individually and collectively navigated.

As we move toward this third anniversary since COVID-19 was labeled a global pandemic, may we tune in to notice the waves of healing we’ve experienced. May we express gratitude to those who have supported our healing (thank you, helpers) and may we continue to connect with the healing journey we’re on, one day at a time.

Spirituality + Mental Health

Each month, you’ll find miscellaneous resources here on the intersection of spirituality + mental health that I’ve recently been reminded of or come across! Most are general resources, but I’ll add some research-focused ones every now and then.

Religion, Spirituality and Mental Health: Research and Clinical Applications
Dr. David Rosmarin hosts this conversation with Dr. Harold Koenig (Duke University School of Medicine). From the website: Is religion good for mental health? Do religious beliefs increase resilience and improve psychological and social functioning? Are the same benefits derived from being “spiritual” but not religious? These are a few of the questions posed by Koenig during this presentation on spirituality and mental health. Watch now to learn more about: 1) Definitions of religion and spirituality; 2) Interpreting and utilizing the latest research; 3) Applying research to the clinical setting

NAMI: The Mental Health Benefits of Religion & Spirituality
This article was from December 2016, but it’s a simple and brief summary describing the connections between mental health and religion/spirituality.

Don’t Neglect Spiritual, Mental Health During this Time of Health Crisis, Baylor Expert Says (March 25, 2020)
Baylor University generously created this Q&A opportunity for me to discuss the connection between spirituality and mental health, particularly in the midst of the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic. In light of the reflection at the top of this month’s newsletter, this seemed like an appropriate time to revisit this article as we continue to heal from this time of health crisis.

Carrying the tension between complex emotions: A year into COVID-19
Similar to the resource above, I think it’s worth honoring the tension between complex emotions that we carry — whether one or three years into COVID. This link is to a reflection from my personal blog in March 2021.

Upcoming Events

The following are some upcoming events in which I’ll be presenting and invite you to attend! Descriptions are from the event websites, if available.

Health & Human Services’ Administration for Children and Families: National Convening on Building an Inclusive Human Services System — March 28-29 (Hyattsville, MD; in person and online)
This two-day hybrid event will be the first federally sponsored national conference solely devoted to creating an inclusive human services delivery system and will serve as the nation’s leading educational event for practitioners, advocates, and researchers within the field. Registration is free but will be required for virtual and in-person attendees.

Podcasts

CXMH

CXMH is a podcast on faith and mental health that I cohost alongside my friend, Robert Vore. Be sure to subscribe, leave a review, follow on social media (@cxmhpodcast), and share episodes you find to be helpful!

160 - Letting Go & Finding Joy (feat. Kevin Sweeney)
161 - Vulnerability vs. Exploitation & How We Find Our Self-Worth (feat. Eryn Eddy)
Recast - Black Mental Wellness, the Black Church, & Public Health (feat. Brandon Johnson)
162 - Celebrating One Year of The Soul of the Helper (feat. Dr. Holly Oxhandler)

Speaking of… thank you to those who helped celebrate the 1st anniversary of The Soul of the Helper!! (Including you, Robert! 😉 Loved that we got to record this episode!) If you missed last week’s note, here are a few things worth highlighting:

📖 Book: 40% off at Templeton Press for a limited time!
✍️ Get a signed copy here for you and/or a loved one! I’ll also send the book’s sticker, bookmark, and companion guide for free! Once the copies I have are gone, I’ll close the form.

A Couple of Books for Your Journey

Present: The Gift of Being All In, Right Where You Are by Courtney Ellis
*I had the joy of getting to read an early copy of this book and highly recommend it. It comes out this week and is what so many of us need these days.

Strong Like Water: Finding the Freedom, Safety, and Compassion to Move Through Hard Things--And Experience True Flourishing by Aundi Kolber
*I rec’d an early copy of this book for an upcoming CXMH episode and of what I’ve read so far, it’s absolutely stunning. Go pre-order your copy now.

Want MORE book recommendations? Check out my bookshop page!
(I get a tiny portion of purchases made through that link, but feel free to buy the book wherever you prefer. I mostly prefer the layout for recommending books to others!)

What I’m Listening To These Days

Cory and I are celebrating our 12th wedding anniversary is this week, so I’m listening back through some songs from that day. In fact, the favor we gave our guests was a burned CD(!!) of our favorite songs tied to that special day. Here are a couple…

Our first dance song 💃🕺 — we took lessons to learn how to dance to it and it was one of my *favorite* ways to carve out a weekly date before the big day!

Our last dance song 😍 — in fact, we were leaving the wedding venue when the DJ started playing it and I grabbed Cory’s hand and ran back to the dance floor for this.

Benediction

Fellow helper, in honor of this week, this month, and all of the past March memories stored within your being….

May you slow down to be with the layer upon layer of memories within that are tied to March 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010…etc.

May you extend such generous compassion + love to yourself for all you’ve navigated within each of those previous Marches.

May you hold space for how far you’ve come, for the ways you’ve healed, and for how much you’ve grown — and may you humbly allow what you notice to teach you.

May you also hold space for the pain, fatigue, and heaviness you’ve hidden in corners of your being in order to keep going — and may you humbly allow what you notice to teach you.

And may you rest. As Morgan Harper Nichols says, “You are worth the quiet moment. You are worth the deeper breath. You are worth the time it takes to slow down, be still, and rest.”

Be well, friends. Breathe deep and remember how truly loved you are as you are in this moment.

Kindly,
Holly

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