Hi friend,
May peace be with you in the gift of this moment.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve been finding a deep need to return to my practice of tuning in, checking in with the
thoughts within my mind,
emotions within my heart, and
sensations within my body.
There have been a lot of transitions — some positive, some negative, and some neither good nor bad. My soul, which is continuing to learn to operate at a slower, more sustainable pace, is doing its best to keep up and remain present to what’s unfolding.
Like the spring flowers beginning to bud and bloom in response to their attention toward resting, receiving, being with the rain, and slowly growing, so too am I finding these transitions doing something within that I can’t quite yet see, but am beginning to notice. A posture of curiosity with a hefty dose of patience and grace is what’s offering the peace I need to remain connected with what’s unfolding.
Two of the recent transitions that I’m riding the waves of in observation include learning in February that I’m being promoted to full professor in August and the reality that I’ll be turning 39 before this month ends.
First, the gift of being promoted to full professor in February. Truthfully, the news is still settling in after working toward this over the last 10 years at Baylor. There are several layers of deep relief and gratitude over this news — gratitude for loved ones and colleagues who’ve supported me, for the gift of getting to do what I love, and for the stability + invitation to exhale that this promotion offers. I started at Baylor in fall 2014, fresh out of my PhD program, and hit the ground running with my research, teaching, and service. In August 2017, I was appointed to be our school’s first associate dean for research, while continuing to teach, carry out my research, and engage in service at the school, university, and professional level. In February 2020, I received tenure and was promoted to associate professor. Then in April 2023, with the support of my dear colleagues who were already full professors, I submitted my materials for promotion to full. In February 2024, I learned the result of that process, celebrated the news with my family, and will begin as a full professor this August.
It’s truly all a gift. I love that I get to do good, meaningful work at Baylor and am grateful for all of the ways the Garland School of Social Work and Baylor University support this wholehearted research, teaching, and service. This was not a path I saw anyone navigate when I was a kid, so my journey has been a gritty, steep learning curve, but I am so thankful for every bit of it.
Second, the realization that I turn 39 this year… 39 …it has a weightier feel to it. Perhaps it’s because I often still feel like I’m 34 or 35? (My back and knees are saying a very different story these days.) Or because I vividly remember loved ones being ~39 and somehow the thought of me being the same age just doesn’t seem to compute. It’s neither good nor bad… it just is.
Where did my 30s go?!, I wonder, reflecting upon several mountaintop moments this decade held. Some of these include buying our first home, bringing Oliver home, traveling to where I’m from for the first time in over 20 years and bringing my family to see it (whew, and navigating all the feels — see the January 2024 newsletter), taking our 1st (through 6th) family summer vacations, surviving a global pandemic(!!) + 1.5y of virtual school with both kiddos, paying off student loans, receiving tenure and being promoted to associate professor (and full professor this year), watching our faculty flourish in research activity alongside Baylor’s growth into an R1-classified research university, managing multiple research grants and publishing my research, mentoring students, cohosting CXMH, publishing The Soul of the Helper and recording the audiobook, and so many other sweet, sweet moments.
Of course, there was a lot of heartache, frayed trust, moments of burnout, and therapy appointments to do the healing work, too. There was a decision to stop drinking 2.5 months before the world shut down. Our family has navigated layers of tender grief regarding our experiences with church over the last decade, and we’ve navigated several unexpected health concerns together, too. And I’ve grieved loved ones and relationships lost over the years, alongside the reality of establishing boundaries I wish I didn’t have to set.
Exhale… It all belongs, dear ones.
What’s been stirring most within my heart as I reflect these days is that not only was this decade good and full, but it taught me so much about the need for simplicity, my limited capacity, and a shared desire with my husband to create (to the best of our ability) a stable, loving, safe, soft place for our family to land each day. Our crew isn’t perfect by any means, and we certainly have finite resources/time/energy, but we are doing our humble best to love God with our whole hearts, minds, bodies, and souls, and to love our neighbors as ourselves. For these things and the gift of one another, I am so very grateful.
Not only is having a stable, loving, safe, soft place for my family to land each day important to me, but I’m learning even more how important it is for my soul to have, too. After the last decade and all that it held, following what was woven in the years prior, and in order for my soul to grow in the ways these transitions are inviting it to grow, self-compassion is becoming utterly essential.
As this month began, I shared the following reflection on self-compassion that is worth elevating again. I hope it meets you wherever you are along your own journey…
On my calendar, April 1st has a recurring, annual reminder that reads, “April is BONKERS” + some supportive comment to pace myself in the weeks ahead. (I see you, fellow academics/educators and fellow parents anticipating May’s madness.) This was a hard earned lesson, learned after several years of “oh, I can surely cram it all into the end of the semester, no big deal! I’ll have time!” (Reality check: I can’t do it all and I don’t have the time — or the energy. There are absolutely no extra magical hours or days in April-May, but there sure are a lot of extra magical events both at work and at home for me and my family.)
💛
And so, a gentle reminder to return to self-compassion. To honor my needs. To ask for help. To say no. To allow whatever just-beneath-the-surface emotions to simply bubble up with tears, even if I can’t yet name their root(s). To release control. To surrender to the discomfort of a slower, more intentional off-ramp (rather than full-on free-fall) of the last 2 months of the academic year. To rest. To heal. To hope.
💛
…I pray that we each continue to protect the space our souls need for silence, solitude, and stillness as we move into this new week and month. (Perhaps even showing up to our yoga mat.) May we *continue* to set down what we can (as we are able), allow quiet to exist, and be still long enough to make space for what may be surrendered and resurrected within us….even beyond Holy Week.🤲
In whatever way you are moving into and through the rest of April, I pray it is with a heart full of self-compassion. I hope you can reflect on the mountaintop moments as you notice them, cherish the moments your heart is overflowing with love and gratitude, grieve the corners that beg for you to sit with grief, and lean into the vulnerability of peace and hope.
And, as someone inching toward the unpromised gift of another trip around the sun, I want to say a wholehearted thank you for being here and for sharing these with others. There are about 2,100 of you reading these little monthly(ish) notes and I’m deeply, deeply honored by your presence, fellow travelers.
May you know your presence is a gift in our world.
Spirituality + Mental Health
Each month, you’ll find miscellaneous resources here on the intersection of spirituality + mental health that I’ve recently been reminded of or come across! Most are general resources, but I’ll add some research-focused ones every now and then.
Spiritual Diversity & Social Work Initiative at Kansas University’s School of Social Welfare (led by Dr. Edward Canda)
From the website: This website is dedicated to the promotion of respect, wisdom, and skill among professional social workers and allied advocates around the world regarding diverse religious and nonreligious spiritual perspectives. We encourage world wide solidarity and cooperation among those who are committed to health, wellbeing, peace, and justice for all people and all beings.
NOTE: Be sure to check out the free, open access resources Dr. Canda offers here. I also highly recommend Dr. Canda’s book, Spiritual Diversity in Social Work Practice: The Heart of Helping.
Fred Rogers Institute’s Educators’ Neighborhood
Those who have read The Soul of the Helper know that Fred Rogers is a pretty meaningful figure in my life. So when I had the joy of getting to visit the Fred Rogers Institute in the fall and learned about the Educators’ Neighborhood, I knew I’d want to jump in once I could. The application for the 2024-2025 cohort is now open until May 3rd, and there are several scholarships available. Plus, the eligibility criteria is pretty wide — if you’re an educator (K-12 or higher education), faith leader, social worker or mental health care provider, or some other helper who serves children (or serves others who serve children), I hope you’ll apply to this opportunity! Here’s some more info from the website:
“Educators' Neighborhood is a community of educators who learn together inspired from the life and work of Fred Rogers. We define "educator" broadly to include any adult who directly serves children, youth, families, and/or other educators. This year-long opportunity brings together a cohort of individuals from across the world who learn together, primarily through virtual meetings, and consider how to deepen their application of Fred Rogers' work and theory to their work with children.”
Research Updates 🥳
There are no new research papers to share this month! If you’re interested in accessing any of our previous papers, please visit my ResearchGate page.
Podcasts
CXMH
CXMH is a podcast on faith and mental health that I cohost alongside my friend, Robert Vore. Be sure to subscribe, leave a review, follow on social media (@cxmhpodcast), and share episodes with others!
…Building on our last episode, Starting the Year Slowly, we really have started the year slowly, and that is a-ok. I hope you’ll fee free to check out any of our previous episodes.
A Couple of Books for Your Journey
Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive by Dr. Kristin Neff
Why Am I Like This?: How to Break Cycles, Heal from Trauma, and Restore Your Faith by Kobe Campbell
Want MORE book recommendations? Check out my bookshop page!
(I get a tiny portion of purchases made through that link, but feel free to buy the book wherever you prefer. I mostly prefer the layout for recommending books to others!)
What I’m Listening To These Days
A lot… I almost trimmed this list down but decided to keep all of what was originally entered over the last few iterations of this month’s newsletter. Take what you need — I hope these songs/playlists serve you well. :)
Apple’s Reading Playlist (apparently I’m still preferring a swirl of instrumental music… building upon the Jazz playlists and Piano playlists I mentioned last month.)
Guster’s older albums: Parachute, Goldfly, and Lost and Gone Forever. I noticed they have a new album coming out in May, and y’all, I used to listen to their music on repeat in high school with the windows down. Some favorites that take me back to 2000ish are: Window, Parachute, Happier, Two Points for Honesty, and Demons.
Lauren Daigle’s album, Look Up Child. Rescue You still chokes me up as I reflect upon my own spiritual journey and ways that Love has rushed in during seasons of darkness.
And then, I saw she has a new song out. May it meet you in this season, reassuring you that “you’re gonna be ok” in light of whatever you are carrying, dear one.
This one on repeat, throwing it back to ‘97, singing “God help you if you are a phoenix and you dare to rise up from the ash…” 🔥
This one because we need the reminder that “our love will change the world” ❤️
And both of these because there have been some layers of toxic masculinity and patriarchy have been quite loud lately. My soul needs to be reminded that I’m not the only one tired of it, and give more space for women’s voices.
And, for my fellow Taylor Swift fans… 🫶🏻 Happy TTPD listening day, friends.
Benediction
Oh friend, we are inching, inching, inching closer to the end of April and toward the months of summer. I feel it deep within and I imagine you do, too. And yet…we are in April…so may this benediction meet you in this moment, dear one.
May you breathe deep into the gift of this unpromised day.
May you add the speed bumps your soul needs to not rush through this season of spring, even in the flurry of end-of-the-year school events, kids’ sport games, and community activities.
May you engage in the spiritual practice of noticing — from the butterfly on the sidewalk stretching its wings, to the flock of birds migrating in unison, to the pattern of sun-kissed freckles on your loved one’s face.
May you pause with curiosity and intention, soaking in the tenderness of the day and of your life.
May you feel the fire within during moments when you refuse to be intimidated for unfair or unjust reasons, and trust that your fire exists to protect your heart and honor your values.
May you lean into the reality that you are growing, dear one, just like the flowers and trees and creatures that are bursting with new life this spring.
May you remember that such growth takes an enormous amount of energy, care, nourishment, and patience… and may you extend generous compassion to yourself. 🌸
Be well, friends. Breathe deep and remember how truly loved you are as you are in this moment.
Kindly,
Holly
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